Broken Tears.

It's been a long time. I made him cry today. 6th Oct 2017. It must've been very hard for him. I must've made him feel that way. And I feel shit. Because of me, he cried. I've broken his heart. In a way, I made him let go of that male, egoist & I can't handle it, man. I'm sorry, my love. I hate to see you cry. And I know, if you cry, it means that you just can't handle it.

The last time I heard & saw you cry was 10 years ago. And that was because, you were alone in the States & it was your first time to leave everything you love behind. And I cried so hard seeing you cry. Like I couldn't protect you.

And today, because I couldn't control my fear, anger, hatred, emotional, I shouted at you & saying things that doesn't support you, nagging you, pushed you down, made you feel more shit, yet you hugged me so tight, and say everything will be alright. And you cried because I made you feel like I've stop supporting you.

I feel shit. I'm sorry, my love. I lost it. I didn't mean to make you cry & feel worthless. You are my bestest friend & I promised 11 years ago, to support you & make you somebody & proof to all of them who looked down on you & made you feel like you're nobody.

Sometimes I forget who I am. And didn't realized what I say. I'm sorry. It's hard to hit bottom. And my fear creeps on me. And it got the worst of me. And I made you feel like you've done such a crappy job as a husband & father. I'm sorry.

The girl who supported you back then, is still there for you. Despite the roller coaster in life that we are now (finally) facing, arguments & fights & shouts & cries, I will always & forever support you. You are the bestest friend I can ever have, loving husband any wife can ask for & a great father our daughter could grow up with. You are amazing, my love.

I'm sorry I made you break down & cry. I take the blame for it. Forgive me.