Handling Everything.

Mentally exhausted just thinking of what needs to be done at home, and yet, nothing is done accordingly. I have so many things in my head to do. But why is it not happening?

I need to steam AA's veges so to prepare her lunch, because her breakfast wasn't filling & I didn't breastfeed her this morning because I am selfish thinking I will get hungry easily due to Ramadan fasting. I am so selfish. Am I?

I need to clean the house. Vacuum it because there are crumbs, hairs, bits of unknown pieces all over the carpet. And yet, I'm not doing it.

Our washed clothes are piled up on the ottoman for ages & every time I have my 'me-time' or a 'rest time', I don't use that time to fold them clothes. And it keeps piling and piling, because I keep washing and washing more clothes. Because washing in the washer is much easier to set the time & it does it's own magic. But sometimes, I forgot to take out the load out, and have to rewash them back because it stinks & I blame myself for using it because it means that I'm using more electricity, means higher bill this month to pay. And now it's coming to winter, the heater is on every night. And not during the day, where I bundle up my self with layers of clothes & sweaters & socks & poor daughter needs to do the same. 

At the moment, I know my daughter's vegetables is steamed enough because I'm staring at the pot while typing blindly, water boiling & pouring out from it, yet I am just too bloody lazy to go there & fix it or clean it. Because this is my 'me-time' & I want to blog this out, because if I don't, I will blow up and cry for nothing, because at THIS VERY MOMENT, I feel like a shitty mom. A shitty, lazy, unorganized mom & wife. 

I think, I'm just going to feed AA left over fish from last night, with butter, rice & those veges I'm steaming now. I bet she wont eat the vegetables. Because its bland & tasteless. Man, I feel like a shitty mom. 

I have to go buy tickets online to see my sister in Aussie for Raya. But to purchase online, I need to use my credit card, which is working wonderfully, but only if, I am able to receive the One-Time 'whatever' Password, that will be sent to my mobile, that is my Malaysian number, by the way. In which my Malaysian sim card number is the "old sim card", that doesn't effing fit in any of the new high-tech fancy-smancy phone/mobile, AND I do not have ANY of my old school 1990's phone mobile that effing works. Either the keypad is not functioning or the mobile itself is just dead. Great. Now, how am I to purchase any flight tickets if I cant receive that STUPID (though good for security) One-Time Password shit. Argh! 

And since our last short trip back to Malaysia to settle our insurances & bank accounts, we didn't manage to sort out the credit card pin & pay thingy, where when purchasing something using cc, we no longer just swipe, but need to key in some password. So if tomorrow, my brilliant "plan-ahead" or "look into the future" husband buys our flight ticket at the agent or flight center, we may, MAYBE, have a problem paying it. Cause I remembered, wanting to pay my new pair of Nike snickers at the sport shop, and it wasn't successful because there wasn't any receipt that comes out for us to sign. I tried both, using the debit & the credit card. It was stated there, on the device thingy, to key in a pin. I did key in a pin for my debit card, but nope. Transaction unsuccessful. So, yup, we didn't had enough time to do the CC bank thingy while back in Malaysia. Greeeeeat. Yes, we can call their 24 Hr Call centre, but hmmmmm, I wonder how much my mobile bill would cost, just to call internationally. And funny thing, here in Auckland, they only serve PREMIUM customers only. For us, the low down graded customers, we have to figure it out our self. Hence, 'I' have to figure it out myself. Hence, the stress & blow outs.

Got to go, Lil' Birdie is up from her nap & is hungry.